Today my wife called to close her Capital One credit card account that she has had in good standing for four years. We have plenty of credit available to us so we have decided to pick and choose which cards we keep. Due to the high interest rate (28%) this particular account was selected for closure. It sounds simple enough; call the customer service number provided, request that the account be closed, and so long as everything is current and in good standing that should be the end of it. Not so, the following is a transcript written by my wife immediately following the phone call and emailed to me: The lady was doing her best to not let me cancel the account. Our conversation went something like this: Me: "I'd like to close my account." Her: "Can I ask why?" Me: "I'm paying everything off and closing accounts." Her: "I see. But you should at least keep this Capital One account open." Me: "No thank you. I'd like to close the account." Her: "Do you have another card?" Me: "I'd like to close this account please." Her: "Well, Capital One offers several customer loyalty programs. It looks like you last paid your membership fee in October. That means you have until October 2008 with no account fees." Me: "That's nice. I'd still like to close the account." Her: "Oh. Well, does your other card have the same rate as this card?" Me: "The other card does not have a 29% interest rate." Her (correcting me): "Your rate is 28%, not 29%." Me: "That's still too high. I'd like to close the account." Her: "Because we value your customer loyalty, we're able to drop your rate to 17%." Me: "Still too high. I'd like to close the account." Her: "You've had this account for four years. I'd hate to see you close it." Me: "I still would like to close the account." Her: "Your credit score is based partly on the duration of your accounts, and by closing an account you've had open for four years may hurt your credit score." Me: "I still want to close this account." Her: "You should check with your credit bureau before closing this account to see how it will affect your credit score." Me: "I still want to close the account." Her: "Let's do this. Capital One will waive your account fees in October. You'll have until October 2009 with no account fees." Me: "Listen. I don't want to keep this account open. Getting a lower rate, having membership fees waived, I don't care. I want to close this account. Close my account." Her: "Well...." Me (cutting her off): "Close my account." By this time, I was sick of her sales pitch. Every time she went to say anything, I cut her off with, "Close my account." Finally she said: Her: "Once this account is closed, you will never be able to open it again." Me: "That's fine. That's the purpose of *closing the account*." Her: Okay. I will close your account. But first I need to read you the Capital One Closing Account Disclosure." And so she reads me this 60 second spiel about how I'm still responsible for any of the fees that occur after the account is closed (like if there's a balance, or if you use the card after you close it, or if you close it right before a membership fee is due, the membership fee "may still be applied to your account" and you're held liable for paying it). So twenty minutes, multiple hold periods, two "account reps" and one disgruntled (wife) later, I finally got the *** thing closed. So, once again, I don't want their $50 coupon to open a new Cap One account. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now this may not be 100% verbatim, but my wife is very able to recall a phone conversation she JUST had, especially one this frustrating. Just yesterday I received an offer from Capital One to open a new account and receive a $50 credit after making a purchase. I WAS giving it serious consideration because of the $50 and a reasonable interest rate. Now there is ZERO chance that I will respond to this offer, so that I might avoid a similar phone call in the future. This isn’t the first time we have had difficulty with Capital One, but it is most definitely the last straw. This email will be published through whatever means I can find so that others who have had the same problem will know that they are not alone, and others who have not yet had this problem can avoid it. There are a lot of places people can hold a line of credit, Capital One is not at all recommended by me (your average consumer) for anyone.